Fizzy Returns
Upon returning to my home in Northeast Ohio, I got a call from my good friend, Randy McFizzlebottom. If the name doesn’t sound familiar, I ran into him by chance in Santa Fe during my last cross-country trip. Apparently, he’d been following along with the current one, via this blog, and asked if I’d be interested in doing an interview with him for his latest gig as Professor of Kournalism at Miskatonic University. How could I deny old Fizzy? So, we got together the other day, via the wonders of video chat, and figured it all out. The transcript of the interview follows.
The Interview
Me: Miskatonic University? I thought that was a fictional place in some old H.P. Lovecraft stories.
Fizz: Nope, it’s totally real… as far as I’m concerned, anyway. The students are a little strange, the lodgings are a bit drafty and, to be honest, I’ve been having aweful nightmares since I started there… but the pay is great and I’m pretty much left alone by the higher-ups, so I can’t complain. But, enough about me. What, about you… another cross-country road trip? I was surprised to find you on another one, so soon. This is becoming a bit of a habit.
Me: Yeah, third one in a little over four years. Don’t really need to twist my own arm behind my back. I thought of a reason and that was pretty much that, you know?
Fizz: What’s the first thing you did when you got back home?
Me: I unloaded the car, then I dragged the vacuum out and cleared-out the solid layer of dust that coated then entire inside of the car. It kinda felt bad, like I was wiping away a memory from the trip, but I’m too obsessive to let that aggression stand. After that, I carved a jack-o-lantern.
Fizz: You made it back for Halloween?
Me: Of course, yeah… this was my first autumn away from Ohio, but I wanted to be back for some of it. I mean, it was cool to see what autumn looked like out west. The endless cornfields in Kansas were all golden and the mountains were really beautiful with their swaths of yellow aspens. And the deserts were all much cooler.
But, I was glad to get back to Ohio and see there was a little color left on the trees. I was worried I’d return and it would look like mid-November, just bare and aweful, which is how it ended-up a couple of days later. And then it snowed.
Fizz: That must’ve been a shock.
Me: I had a few shocks like that along the way. It was decent until I got to Gunnison, where it snowed on my way out of town. Then I hit the low-20s for two days in Utah, but a day later I’m hiking in 85-degree weather in Zion. Things were comfortable from there until my last night in Elk City, Illinois, where it got cold and windy.
Fizz: How about some measurables. Distance… cost… stuff like that?
Me: Okay, good, I actually prepared these numbers for you. Let’s see… Total miles driven: 6148.1 miles. Total gas consumed: 211.361 gallons. Average mileage: 29.088 mpg. Average cost for gas: $3.91/gallon. Total cost for gas: $839.79. Cost of food: $318.19. Cost of housing: $1004.95. Souvenirs: $153.00. So, the total cost of the trip was around $2315.93 for a three week trip… about $100 a day. Of course, I left with food and purchased a bunch of stuff for the trip, like a new tent cot, but stuff like that will be used in the future, too.
Fizz: And, how did this one feel compared to the previous two?
Me: It felt short! It was literally much shorter than the last one, but it was about the same length as my first one. Still, it just flew by so fast.
Fizz: Was this one better or worse in areas, based-on your previous trips?
Me: Well, I had the new car, which had slightly more space. The bin system was exactly the same, but it was much easier loading and unloading because the new car has four doors. While I’d intended to pack lightly, I packed exactly the same amount of shit as the previous trips, unfortunately. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get away from that… I just pack heavy, you know?
Fizz: You mentioned at the end of the last trip, that the blog took way too much time and effort to complete, and that you spent too much time taking pictures and video. How’d that go?
Me: Yeah… my original intention was to spend fifteen minutes on the blog posts–tops–but that didn’t last. It helped that I didn’t bother trying to post any of the video I shot in the posts because of how long it takes to pick stuff out, render and upload it somewhere. But I still spent too much time taking shots and then logging shots.
You know, it’s weird. It’s like when people go to concerts and spend the entire time watching the performance through their phone because they’re recording the performance, rather than experiencing it directly. I felt like that on previous trips. Like I was too concerned with documenting the trip than experiencing the trip.
I think I did a better job with that this time, but I felt I was still betraying myself, like in Chaco Canyon. I should’ve slowed down and just sat on a bench at Pueblo Bonito and meditated on the weight of that place. But, then, I have limited time due to trying to squeeze so much into each day. I really need to go to some place like Chaco or Joshua Tree and spend three or four days there. Then I could get that immediate burst out on the first day and spend a couple of slow days really digging deep.
Fizz: It seemed like that was the case at Fremont Indian State Park.
Me: Yeah, that’s a good example. Because I stayed there two nights, on Friday, I got to spend the entire day there, checking-out the visitors center, trails and petroglyphs. I need to do that in the future. But, I think I did better with it on this trip. I only visited something like 6 or 7 parks on this trip really.
Fizz: Overall, what do you think about the trip as a whole? Was it a success?
Me: Yeah, I really have nothing to complain about. The two focal points were the eclipse in Utah and visiting Chaco Canyon. The weather was perfect for the eclipse, and my friend Shon came up from San Diego to see it with me, which was special. And, Chaco Canyon was awesome.
And of course going to the trouble to get the Crosstrek with the all terrain tires and everything, you know, it was nice to actually drive through some relatively hairy stuff instead of reluctantly passing it by. If I’d had the GTI, I’d have turned around! That being said, I passed people driving sedans on those roads, so I guess the new car wasn’t absolutely necessary, but it made it more fun.
Fizz: So no regrets with the new car?
Me: No way, I love loving my car again. I never admitted to myself how much I hated the GTI. The Crosstrek made the entire trip so much more enjoyable. I mean, the last five days of the trip averaged about eight hours of driving every day and it was a breeze. Things like adaptive cruise control and driver assist, things I thought I’d never use, are game changers, making long hauls so much easier than a manual transmission. Of course, I still miss the stick and this car is S-L-O-W, but it’s more utilitarian I guess.
Fizz: What were the highlights of the trip?
Me: Driving on back roads without any worries. Camping with my aunt in Joshua Tree. Seeing the eclipse with my friend. Finally getting to Chaco Canyon. Isolated hikes worrying about mountain lion attacks haha.
Fizz: You really worry about mountain lions? I figured you were joking.
Me: No. It’s a legit concern. Being a solo traveler and solo hiker, when I’m in areas where they exist, I’m always hyper vigilant when I’m out there. But what am I supposed to do? Not hike? Ironically, I wouldn’t hike alone in bear country, but the idea of bears don’t freak me out like the idea of cougars do. Cats are evil.
Fizz: Cats are evil?!?
Me: Yeah. I think if your house cat, your pet, if it weighed 100 pounds, it would only be a matter of time before it just decided to eat you. They treat you nice because you feed them and it’s convenient. But one day, they’d just decide to maul you for a while before ultimately eating you.
Fizz: Interesting theory. So… what about the low points?
Me: I don’t know… for the most part, I’m usually always having a good time on these trips. The low points usually occur because of bad planning or trying to squeeze too much into too little time.
For example, while my camping trip with my aunt was a highlight, that day was really stressful because I didn’t plan correctly and ended-up having to frantically set-up our tents in the dark. And my attempt to visit Petroglyph National Monument was a bust because I didn’t research it properly. Ironically, I thought my attempt to visit Petroglyph was a good approach, you know, looking for destinations along my routes and taking drive time into account, but it was just not enough. I think that’s going to be a good tool on future trips, though, targeting those smaller places along my travel routes.
Fizz: Since you brought it up, what future trips do you have in mind?
Me: I could see myself heading up to New England to visit Acadia next year. Or maybe New River Gorge. Those are trips I could complete in a handful of days. My next long trip is probably going to be through the north to the northwest and then down the coast. That will be something along the 40 day long range, so it’s not going to happen for a while. I mean, I’m frugal and I can make these trips work, but I still have responsibilities and it’s tough enjoying a trip while still working.
Fizz: Haha, you have so many responsibilities!
Me: Well, yeah, not by normal measurements, but I’m an adult and still have responsibilities.
Fizz: If you say so.
Me: …
Fizz: Hey, it’s the role of interviewer that brings it out of me. We’re not friends right now.
Me: Anyway.
Fizz: Anyway. Do you have anything else to add? Any lessons you learned? Regrets? Revelations?
Me: I don’t know. This was my third cross country trip since the spring of 2019. My emotions are torn at this point, feeling a bit like a tourist or… I can’t think of the word. You know, these are beautiful places, historic places… carved apart by paved roads. It hadn’t occurred to me until this trip that there’s an awefulness to it.
Fizz: What do you mean?
Me: It just felt weird at times. When you get out west, there are SO many RVs and RVs towing Jeeps and decked-out SUVs and trucks with mounted tents or towing tear drop campers. That’s where I thought I ultimately wanted to get to, but after this trip… I don’t know. It just feels aweful in a way, maybe primarily upon visiting places like Sand Creek Massacre NHS and Chaco Culture NHS. It felt disrespectful at times, leisurely driving my car through these places… a tourist taking pictures and collecting souvenirs.
Fizz: Well, the national park system protects them and makes them accessible for everyone.
Me: Yeah, I guess you’re right. It still feels lame in a way. Maybe this trip just started to feel safe and planned and predictable. You know, you ask what I learned and improved upon. Maybe that’s a problem. Maybe, like everything else in life, once you start to master the “ins and outs” of something, it begins to lose its luster. Through experience, the outcome becomes less exciting, because you know what you’re doing, and then it’s not as much fun.
Fizz: Yeah, I see what you’re getting at. When you get good at something, the process begins to feel more like a job than an exciting experience.
Me: Exactly.
Fizz: Sounds like you’ve got some un-learning to do before your next trip.
Me: You may be right.
Fizz: Well, I think I’ve got all I need. If one of your trips takes you near MU, give me call and we’ll get together.
Me: Absolutely! Sounds fun and slightly horrifying.
The End
And, with that, my trip has officially ended. If you followed along with me, via this blog, I appreciate you and hope that you enjoyed it. Bye… for now.
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